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First of all, I love Woody Allen movies. I watched most of them. But sometimes I wish Woody had asked me for advice before filming. For that reason I decided to re-write some of his movies.
As a scientific mind, I do not like supernatural events, often used by Woody. I try to replace them with logical explanations.
Many times I dislike the ending of a movie, and I believe I can improve them. But after writing the first two or three endings, I decided to focus on one of my favorite movie makers, Woody. Maybe in this way he notices my creative talent and calls me for his next movie.
Lets go to Play it Again, Sam. I do not like Woody acting as a main character who is married to an actress too young and pretty for him. Without any good dramatic reasons. This happens in several of his movies, by the way. But it is obvious that Diane Keaton (Linda) will not end up with Woody (Allan), too old and ugly for her. Nevermind the fact that they were couple in the real life for many years. I do not know what did she see on him.
Shortly, the film follows Casablanca. Rick or Allan love the pretty woman (Ilse or Linda), but they step out at last moment to let space for the legitimate husband, no matter how inept.
Back to the movie, I never understood why Linda is about to fly in a plane without ever buying a ticket.
Then, I joined both facts and I propose that Linda is not allowed to fly with Dick, and decides to stay with… Bogart, which is more handsome and attractive than Woody. If Woody can see the Bogart character, maybe Linda can also see it. And go out with him.
Check the alternative ending for “Play it agan, Sam” in https://youtu.be/dktJOhcHd1Y
This is a reality video.
A guy travels in a crowded bus or subway, while talking to the cell phone. He pretends to be a mechanic working at this current time on a car and promising very early delivery. He makes noises to simulate a car in very bad condition. The hidden cameramen will register the surprised faces of the fellow travellers.
Also: a doctor in a surgery, a lawyer working on a case, a veterinary operating on a pig, a trucker driving in a remote location.
Batman receives a phone call in his cell phone. At first he touches several wrong buttons, finally he manages to pick up the call. The Chief needs help to disable several nuclear bombs set up by Penguin. Batman is ready to help. But in the meantime, another phone call enters by some telemarketer, and Batman is not sure on how to manage two phone calls at once.
At the pharmacy, several customers. There comes an old man with a backpack with an oxygen tank, with tubes coming out of the tank into his nose.
Customers buy minutiae, cosmetics, aspirin, ask prices, ask for advice. The old man is breathing with increasing difficulty, and looks worried as the level of oxygen goes down.
One customer worries about the old man and asks the pharmacist to hurry. Meanwhile, the old man tries to light a cigarette. The others discourage him. Continue reading
A tramp drinking from a wine carton while watching TV from a shop window in an electronics store, sees a wine sommelier explaining an expensive wine.
– This exquisite cabernet-sauvignon Roncesvalles has a hierarchical and elegant scent …
(the tramp smells his wine and behaves like a Lord) Continue reading
This is a sample of my humor creativity for TV. One out the 100 scripts writen by Serapio Sergiovich, addressed to TV producers. Intended to be produced and distributed in the Web as well as in TV. Short humor videos are suitable for fast, viral marketing and promotion in the social networks.
A prophet of the self-help field promotes his book, “Do things right the first time”. He is supposed to read paragraphs from the book, wave at his admirers and smile to the camera.
However, he often stumbles, confused, forgets what he has to say and the director has to cut and roll again. In the intervals, he takes medication from several flasks, takes out a cigarette and smokes on the sly. He made a small hidding cubicle with books, where he drinks whiskey, smokes marijuana, pulls out a syringe and injects something on his arm.
On camera he shows a forced and exagerated smile, but as soon as the director cuts the filming, he shows a hostile and bitter face.
He drops whiskey on his shirt, rolls differently his sleeves, keeps cigarettes visible in his shirt pocket, lets his hair go untidy. He drops the microphone and they have to fix it with duct tape. Continue reading
A beautiful girl goes to the surgeon and explains that she had a boyfriend that had as great a love as bad a spelling. She has tatoos all over her body with love messages such as:
I lav U –
You are the vest thing that hapened to mee –
I will alvays lav u mi dear –
Lav is all u nid –
Foreber yours, Peter –
Peter lovs Emily –
Emily and Peter togeter for ever
Batman got married and grew older but he still hangs to his old job, saving the world from all the evils.
Batman receives a phone call from someone with a few urgent issues…
– Hello Batman, are you there? The villains are taking over in Egipt and if you do not stop them, we will need to send the army…Millions will die…
-Hi Gordon, how are you? I cannot save the world today, I have to finish doing the dishes and cooking, and then I have to pick up the boys from the kindergarten…. Do you have any local assignment?